Names
by Kate The Night
Summary: Flash is being his usual self and decides to annoy Batman during monitor-duty. Also to make fun of his name.


_Summary: Flash is being his usual self and decides to annoy Batman during monitor-duty. Also to make fun of his name._

"Hey, Bats?" Of course Batman wouldn't answer, he's Batman, and Wally is Flash, and Flash is annoying in Batman's eyes _and_ ears. "C'mon Bats, I know you wanna talk with me, I can feel it!"

The only response he got was an I'm-sighing-loudly-right-now-and-yes-it's-because-you're-annoying-me-and-I-don't-nor-will-I-ever-have-time-for-you-kind of sigh.

Flash ignored it and promptly took a seat next to the Dark Bat.

"So," he said. "I was thinking-"

"Oh god, no..." muttered Bruce and knew that the red head wouldn't leave him alone for at least two hours.

"-that your name is kinda funny."

"... Excuse me?" Batman turned his head and gave him a dark glare.

"Oh, no! Not, like, a funny name or anything!"

"But you just said-"

"Well, Flutteringmouseman does sound kind of funny," Flash said, and then made a sound somewehere in between a cough and a snort; a poor attempt at trying to choke a laugh.

"Fluttering ... mouseman?" Bruce said and raised an eyebrow. "Wally, I don't care what your point is with this conversation, I'm on monitor-duty and I don't have time for you."

"Aw, but I haven't even told you the funny part yet! You see; if I were to translate your name into Swedish, it'd be Flutteringmouseman! Cause bat is literary translated into fluttering mouse, and do you know what else they call you?"

"Who?" Bruce's rubbed his eyes and felt a headache approaching.

"The Swedes! They call you," and here Flash made a dramatic pause. "The _leather patch_! I swear, it's true!"

The clock on the wall ticked loudly a couple of times.

"Since when do you speak Swedish?" he asked, even though he wasn't the least bit interested.

"Oh, I don't only speak Swedish! I know Spanish, French, a bit Japanese, some Korean, Italian, Russian, Norwegian-"

"Okay, I get it!"

"I have a lot of spare time. Do you know what Superman, in Swedish, could be translated to?"

"... _No_. And I don't want to kn-"

"Verygreatman. Or Reallygoodman. Or Fantasticman. That works too. Or, if you just translate super; Drinkingalchoholman! 'Cause Super can mean, besides something really good, to drink booze! So, I guess, in a way, we can call him Boozeman! Now that's funny."

Suddenly Flash disappeared for a second, then returnd with a bag of chips.

"As I was saying; Boozeman. But they acctually call him the Steelman, y'know, instead of the Man of steel. I guess they thought your translation was too dorky to use."

Batman turned another dark glare at the speedster. Flash pretended to be afraid by covering in his chair and flatly saying:

"Oh no, not the patented batglare of doom. I am so scared right now. I really am. Scared, that is. Very scared." Then he vibrated his body a bit. "See, I'm even shaking, now, as you are glaring at me."

Batman lifted his upper lip in a silent snarl. Then he raised a finger at the red head, as if he were about to say something, but he narrowed his eyes instead and turned back towards the screens.

"They call me the Lightning!"

"That's nice."

Flash took a mouth full of chips. "It's 'cause I'm fast as lightning, get it? One moment I'm there, the next I'm gone!"

Batman had to physically, mentally and forcefully keep himself from flinching whenever a little bit of potato chip would fly out of Wally's mouth and land on his lap, shoulder or the side of his face.

Disgusting.

"Well then, shouldn't you act like lightning then?"

"Huh?"

"It never strikes twice at the same place, and you've been here for quite some time now."

"Oh ... Ha. Ha. You're so funny." He took another mouthful of chips. "By the way ..."

_"What is it, Flash?"_

"Have you ever wondered why Wonderwoman name starts with wonder? I mean, sure, she's from another world, sorta, kinda, well - island, but did she have to choose a name that makes her sound so ... I dunno, clueless?" Wally gave Batman a truly genuine frown, as if he really were confused about Diana's name.

Bruce was actually a little bit interested now, but only because Flash couldn't seriously be that dumb.

"Yes, Flash, she wonders about everything. That makes sense. She's an old soul in a new world; it must be so confusing for her in this technological world of ours."

The red head nodded vigorously. "I should totally help her," he said and failed to notice the irony in Bruce's voice. The speedster the disappeared, only to re-appear on one of the screens Batman were watching.

Diana was in the kitchen, making herself a cup of tea, when Flash grabbed her by her elbow and pulled her towards the coffee-machine.

Bruce zoomed in a bit and turned up the volume.

_"See, this is what we call a co-ffee-ma-chine. And once I've taught you how to use it, you won't ever have to wonder about it, or drink that yucky tea-water anymore!"_

_"But Wally, I lik-"_

_"No, no! Lemme show you how this works!"_ Flash then proceeded to show her the wonders of the coffee-machine, and a few other chosen electronics, like the microwave and the mixer.

Batman sat in his dark monitor-room and shook his head a couple of times while chuckling.

"Flash, you really _are_ the proof that evolution can go in reverse."


End file.
